


Can't deal with everything by myself

by kroosista



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M, Real Madrid CF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 14:57:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6120043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kroosista/pseuds/kroosista
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Zidane loses his first game as Real Madrid coach and the fans are out of FeliZidane already. At being subbed Isco and James received one of the loudest whistles ever heard at the Bernabeu. Some fans are also putting the blame on the midfielders. And it’s true that today was not the best game for Luka Modric and Toni Kroos”</p><p>Sometimes it's better to keep quiet until things settle down around you...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't deal with everything by myself

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sulking... can't deny it. So, a way of coping is this...

_“Zidane loses his first game as Real Madrid coach and the fans are out of FeliZidane already. At being subbed Isco and James received one of the loudest whistles ever heard at the Bernabeu. Some fans are also putting the blame on the midfielders. And it’s true that today was not the best game for Luka Modric and Toni Kroos”_

Toni turned off the TV. He didn’t want to hear anymore. He was at Valdebebas still. Because he was waiting to go home soon. His freaking car had to malfunction before leaving, so Gareth –who was at the stadium with the team-, offered him a ride.

Toni decided to check Twitter before leaving ad when he saw his name at the Trending Topic list for Madrid City, curiosity won and he went there to see what was happening.

_“Busquets is better than Kroos any day”_

_“When is Real Madrid going to see that Kroos is good for nothing?”_

_“Bayern got the best part of the deal… and to think some said Kroos is better than Xabi”_

_“So, Kroos is just getting money for doing nothing.”_

_“Kroos doesn’t score. Doesn’t defend. Doesn’t attack. What does he do?”_

Toni threw his phone on the table. He didn’t want to read anymore. He wasn’t a soft feeling person, but reading all that was bringing tears to his eyes. He was ready to go out and wait for Gareth outside when Zidane appeared at the door.

“Toni, can you please come here a sec?”

He nodded and followed the guy to the locker room. He grabbed the phone in the process and saw that Mario was calling. He must have seen everything and was trying to talk to him. The kid always tried to cheer him up after a bad moment. He was a really good friend. Toni made a mental note to call him later. He got to the locker room where Zidane was standing in the middle of it and all the players were there… even Gareth and Marcelo who were injured.

“I wanna know what’s happening. Like, you don’t want me here?” Every one of them shook their heads “You don’t want to play here? I want to understand, guys. These kinds of losses can’t be repeated! Part of it was my fault and I get it…”

“What part was your fault, Zizou?” Cristiano said beside Toni “Placing people on the field doesn’t mean that they’re going to be perfect”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sergio asked from behind Zidane “We all did our best today, Cris.”

“Really, Sergio? Because we sucked and if that’s our best…”

“Can you two shut up right now?” Zidane shouted and both of them shut up instantly. Toni felt a hand on his shoulder and saw James watching the rest of the guys with tears on his eyes “We don’t need this right now. Okay?”

“I’m not blaming anyone per se, Zizou. But even you have to admit the midfield was inexistent today”

“Wait, you’re putting the blame on us?” Luka asked surprised “What the hell, Cris?”

“Well… we didn’t get nice opportunities from you guys today, did we?” He turned to face Toni “Toni here lost a couple of balls that were just easy breezy… I’m just stating a fact”

Toni wanted to fleet from that room. He didn’t want to be there.

“Toni was the only one, besides Danilo, doing what I asked them to do. Can you say the same, Cristiano?” Zizou asked, calmed. Toni looked at him “You’re not being fair right now. These losses hurt, I get it. But this is not helping”

“Maybe they should start cleaning the locker room for next season.” Toni heard Cris murmur under the noise.

Toni saw Luka and shook his head silently asking the Croatian to keep it quiet this time. He didn’t want to be here anymore. Cris looked at him and saw him shaking his head and raised an eyebrow. His phone vibrated in his pocket at that moment and that text made him turn his phone off.

_“The offer still stands for next season. You would look great in pale blue and speaking English”_

Damn it with Pep and his fifth sense to send messages at the worst moment possible. After returning his phone to his pocket, he saw that Cristiano was still staring at him with his eyebrow raised. He saw red for a moment. Yeah, he maybe didn’t have the best game of his life but everyone was blaming him and that wasn’t fair.

“Maybe you won’t have to deal with my mistakes next season, Cris…” he murmured and James squeezed his shoulder and Isco did a mini yelp of surprise.

“What’s that supposed to mean, Kroos?” asked Zidane, who was way closer than Toni thought he was. Probably trying to see if the situation needed an intervention.

“Nothing, coach. I just need to go home and rest. I’m tired for doing nothing and walking around. Can I go now?”

“Yes, except for Gareth and Marcelo, everyone else can go.”

Damn it. Toni had to wait for Gareth now. James squeezed his shoulder once more and Toni faced him.

“I know Gareth offered you a ride but since he’s stuck here now, do you want a ride? I drop Isco at his place and go home too”

“Dude, it’s okay, I’ll catch a cab” Toni said. He didn’t want to impose.

“Germany, we live on the same neighborhood! Come on. Let’s go”

Toni nodded. No point fighting with James. He always won. He collected his bag and bumped Isco’s shoulder on the way out. Isco smiled.

“I got my first booed exit at the Bernabeu today. How crazy is that?”

“Pretty crazy indeed”

“Hey, I got one too. Don’t be so self-absorbed!” James joked while getting in the car. Isco pushed Toni to ride shotgun since he was going to get out of the car first.

“How can you guys joke about that? It was awful!” Toni was confused. James laughed “What?”

“It’s better to joke than to mope around, don’t you think?”

Toni didn’t say anything else, because he actually wanted to get home and get into bed until Monday. Jess took Leon to Germany that weekend so he was all alone on that big house.

“I think I might go home…” Toni murmured

“That’s where we’re heading after leaving Isco, Germany” James said and Toni shook his head

“What do you mean, Germany?” Isco asked, leaving his tablet and pausing his game

“I meant, home. Germany home.” A red light allowed James to turn and face him completely while Isco squeezed himself between the two front seats.

“You’re kidding, right?” Isco asked and Toni denied it with his head “Come on, Toni, it’s just a bad season. You don’t have to leave”

Toni didn’t say anything else. James sighed and moved again on a green light.

“That’s what you meant back there?” Toni looked at James when he spoke “With Cristiano?”

“Not exactly…”

“Then what?”

“I have an offer…” the other two waited “from Manchester City”

“What?!” both Isco and James screamed and Toni covered his ears. Isco recovered first “What the hell, Toni? I was going to go there in January and you guys convinced me to stay!”

“I know. But Pep is going there next season and he talked to me to see if I can join the team”

His teammates went silent again and this time, James asked the question no one wanted to do “And you’re seriously considering going there?”

“I don’t know, James. I really don’t know”

Toni’s phone ringed again on his pocket. This time the name ‘Felix’ and a picture of his little brother flashed on the screen. He sent him a quick text “I’ll call you later. On my way home right now”

_“Are you okay, though? I saw the news. You okay?”_

“Will tell you when I know it”

Stuffing his phone on his bag, he faced forward. The other two kept quiet which was unusual. They arrived at Isco’s place and, after saying goodbye; they started the way to La Finca. James didn’t know what to say and Toni didn’t want to say anything. Finally when they were close to their places, James asked.

“You’re seriously considering going to City?” Toni didn’t answer “I mean, if I remember correctly, you said you were really happy here. What happened to change that?”

“Everything, James! Everything that happens is my fault. If we lose, it’s my fault. If we concede, it’s my fault. If we lose possession, it’s my fault. I’m the worst thing that happened to Real Madrid, apparently. And I’m sick of this.”

James parked the car on his driveway and faced Toni again “This isn’t about Cristiano, is it? Because he’s a jerk every time we lose. It’s is coping mechanism. We all know that”

“It’s not about Cristiano! Did you get into Twitter? I’m the worst player ever. So, I should just leave” James didn’t say anything else. Toni got his bag and said “Thanks for the ride, James” before stepping out of the car and started to walk the short distance to his house.

“What about us, though? What about… me?”

Toni didn’t look back. He just murmured an “I’m so sorry, James” before jogging the rest of the way home.

__________________

“You’re not a quitter, Toni. And if I can handle Pep, you can handle Madrid” Mario was saying over Skype. He returned his call almost before going to bed.

“I actually don’t know if I can, Sunny. It’s so hard”

“It doesn’t have to be. Don’t listen to any of those bastards. You are an amazing player”

“You think I should take Pep’s offer? Go to City?”

Mario sighed “I don’t know, Toni. And I can’t decide for you. You are at one of the biggest clubs of the world. But if you think you’ll enjoy being at Manchester more than…”

“I love Madrid, Mario. I don’t want to move”

“There’s your answer, then. By the way, you should call your brother. Or at least let him know that you’re not going insane”

“Why?”

“He called me earlier and told me you didn’t answer the phone and said you didn’t know if you were okay. Felix worries too much; he’s your brother after all. He over thinks everything”

“I’ll call him in the morning.” Mario smiled and Toni felt the need to be alone again “Okay, I got to go now. Thanks for talking to me”

“That’s what friends do, you dork! Sleep now, Toni. Tomorrow will be a new day, okay.”

He logged out and shut his laptop. It was time to sleep after all. When he was going to his bedroom, the doorbell rang and he stopped. Who could be there at that time? Toni couldn’t be more shocked when Cristiano, James and Sergio were all huddled on his doorstep.

“Did we interrupted something?” asked Sergio with a small smile on his face that made Toni smile immediately

“No, I was just preparing to go to bed. Come on in.” they all went to the living room and Toni decided to avoid chitchat “So…”

“Look, I just came by to say sorry. I was out of line and I shouldn’t have said that” Cristiano said and Toni looked at his feet.

“You don’t have to apologize”

“I do, Toni. You’re like my little brother and I was an asshole to you for no reason. You played a good game today and I shouldn’t have attacked you like I did” Toni looked at Cris and he was clearly sorry “Can you forgive me, though?”

Toni nodded. He didn’t want to be on a constant fight with Cristiano. Sergio then cleared his throat.

“Well, I came to see if Cristiano got his head out of his ass but also to see if you really meant what you said on the locker room? About leaving?”

Toni looked at James and realized that, even if he had more options, he didn’t want to leave right now. He wanted to stay at Real for a couple more years at least.

“No, Sergio. I’m good where I am”

Sergio smiled one of those mega-watts smiles of his “Perfect. Then, I’ll see you all tomorrow at training, okay?” He then grabbed Cris’s arm and left.

James stayed where he was and smiled at Toni “You’re sure, right? That you want to stay?”

“Yup. Absolutely sure”

“Good” James smiled even more “I brought you these” he tossed a bag at Toni’s hands “It’s not Germany per se but… it’s the best I could do here in Madrid”

Toni raised an eyebrow and opened the bag. He could see Pretzels, some german beers and apple strudels inside. He couldn’t help but smile at the Colombian.

“Thanks, James. But I can’t possibly eat all this on my own. Wanna join me? Maybe we could watch something on the TV…”

“I thought you were going to sleep…?”

“I was, but not anymore. So, you in?”

“Absolutely…” James smiled and went to the other room where Toni had the big TV and all the media he bought.

_Yeah, I definitely want to stay a bit more in Madrid._

**Author's Note:**

> I hate what people online are doing to Toni, Isco and James specially... so, this is a way to state that...  
> Anyway... if you have any idea you want me to write, let me know on my tumblr account http://kroos8shipper.tumblr.com/ and I'll try to come up with something.  
> Let me know what you think of this, please.  
> See ya soon!


End file.
